What does success mean to you?

Success to me, is all about the difference you make in other people's lives. Even as a child, I always had a heart for helping and healing others. I guess you could say my love language is service to others. When I was just 7 years old, I begged my parents to help me host a Ronald McDonald Backyard Carnival to raise funds for seriously sick children. We lived in an apartment complex at that time, which contributed to the large turnout and successful fundraiser and ultimately made a profound difference in the lives of those children.

What quotation inspires you and motivates you?

I have two favorite quotes I’d like to mention that are important to me. After suddenly becoming a young widow and single mother to my twin sons when my husband was suddenly killed, I was faced with the fragility of life. Throughout the years that followed, the quote that reminded me to seize each day was a quote from President Abraham Lincoln - "In the end, it's not the years in your life that counts, it's the life in your years." What a prophetic quote too.

Another quote that has inspired me to follow and fulfill my life's purpose is by Pablo Picasso - "The meaning of life is to find your gift, and the purpose of life is to give it away." Now that my sons are adults, I've been able to share my gifts in a very intentional and profound way.

You’ve shared with me that pain and purpose are two sides of the same coin. Tell us about healing through purpose.

I grew up in a home where my self-worth and self-esteem were not fostered. Pancreatic Cancer took my biggest cheerleader, my grandmother “MiMi" from me. This loss spiraled me into an eating disorder that nearly took my life, dropping down to 68 pounds at the age of 15. I choose to look at life through the lens of why this happened "for" me rather than why this happened "to" me. Therefore, I believe I battled anorexia so I could help save and HEAL other children from a deadly eating disorder.

Eating disorders are not a choice, but recovery is. For the past 10 years I've been a Legislative Ambassador for NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) to raise awareness and funds for research to eradicate eating disorders. I also am the Founder of Project HEAL - Denver Chapter; which coordinates life-saving treatment scholarships for individuals battling a deadly eating disorder. Most people don't know that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses. 30 million Americans will battle an eating disorder in their lifetime. Because of the shame and stigma associated with eating disorders and mental illness, only 10% will seek help. As Dr. Brene' Brown discusses in her TedTalk, "...We all hold the anecdote for shame, and that is empathy".

I share my story of survival and hope from the classrooms to the Capitol. I've partnered with Dove and share their "Self-Esteem Project" with schools across the state of Colorado. Dove's Self-Esteem Project has reached over 62 million youth across 142 countries. I remind our youth that their body or appearance does not define their worth and that they are always a better version of themselves than a generic version of someone else. My hope and focus is to prevent eating disorders through redefining beauty! We are more than our bodies, and we should celebrate what our bodies can do for us; rather than be at war with our bodies. #WhatMakesMeBeautiful is one of the prompts I challenge the students to answer in order to help them redefine beauty rather than letting society define beauty for them with unrealistic images and standards of beauty. The media has created manufactured and manipulated images that convey the message that perfection is beauty. I help them use critical thinking to reject these toxic images and messages.

What does the world need more of? Less of?

I believe the world needs more compassion and empathy; and less judgment and division. I'm confident this is a universal feeling too. This underscores why I've become a fierce and passionate advocate for multiple non-profits and try to inspire others to get involved as well.

To honor the husband I lost, I've chosen to turn that pain into purpose by helping our most vulnerable people; our youth. I've implemented different Sandy Hook initiatives at several Colorado schools, including: See Something, Say Something, Say Hello Week, and the SAVE Campaign (Students Against Violence Everywhere). These initiatives are focused on helping to combat social isolation and bullying in schools and create a more inclusive and safe environment for our precious youth.

Perhaps because I grew up in a home where I suffered in silence, I want to do everything within my power to prevent this for others. I'm confident this is why I find myself gravitating towards the needs of the most vulnerable. Because I also have a personal connection to a loved one who has special needs; I've also partnered with Best Buddies Colorado with a shared mission of creating a culture of inclusion without limits for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD); or as I prefer saying, "special abilities" - like superheroes!

What do you consider your greatest success?

My greatest personal success would be my greatest loves ~ my twin sons, Taylor and Brent; who have become the most amazing, compassionate, and accomplished young men. I say success not just because of who they are, but because I was told many years ago that as a result of my eating disorder, I may not be able to have children. Even as a little girl, I always dreamed about being a mom someday. This reminds me of the sweet quote in the Cinderella movie, "A dream is a wish your heart makes." I'm forever grateful that my heart's wish came true, times two!

From a business perspective, albeit my non-profit, Project HEAL - Denver; I am most proud that all Project HEAL Chapters collectively have raised over $12 million dollars for life-saving treatment scholarships for those battling an eating disorder. The cost of care is $1,000/day with a minimum stay of 30 days; and an average stay of 90 days. Treatment is cost-prohibitive, and most insurance companies don't cover treatment for eating disorders. So, the funds we raise are quite literally life-saving.

Project HEAL has been successful in receiving support of power players affected by eating disorders. Some of which are Arianna Huffington, co-founder of the Huffington Post, 49ers Executive Paraag Marathe, and Producer Marti Moxon. Moxen’s “To The Bone” movie is loosely based on her own life experience with an eating disorder.

What do you want your legacy to be?

My legacy would be a "Legacy of Love"; which is what I've titled my book. My MiMi's legacy was love and it ultimately saved my life. She showed me that one person can make a difference for many lives. I have adopted this mindset; that if I can save just one; then all my efforts are worth it. When I speak with the students, I feel like I'm talking with my younger self. So, not only am I healing them, but I'm also healing my inner child. I'm helping her reclaim her self-worth and self-confidence that was taken from her as a child; and reminding her of the unconditional love and messages her MiMi imparted: that you are uniquely beautiful, worthy, brave, kind, and smart. As I tell the students, "Dare to be different!"

I’m also proud that part of my legacy will live on through the work I’ve done on Capital Hill in Washington, DC, and at the Colorado Capitol. We gained support for the FREED Act (Federal Response to Eliminating Eating Disorders) and additional bills passed this year in support of the eating disorder communities. I was also awarded two Proclamations from Governor Jared Polis and Mayor Michael B. Hancock for my comprehensive and extensive service throughout Colorado communities.

Kimberly Dufresne a NEDA Legislative Ambassador and the founder of the Denver chapter of Project HEAL, a non-profit with 40 chapters throughout the U.S., Canada, and Australia.

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